No Guitar For Bonzo

Well, I think we can scratch notions of buying a guitar, at least for a few months. My so-called "insurance company" has decided not to pay for my chemotherapy. They either decided not to pay for any of it, or not to pay for more than $2000 of it, I'm a little hazy (my dark suspicion is that they will only pay for $2000 of it, but the deductible eats that up, so it amounts to "none of it"). All they ask in return for this are premiums of $1500 a month. Let me see if I understand this correctly: I pay $1500 a month, they pay $2000 a year? Something's not adding up. Oh, wait, I get it, they want to make a gigantic fucking profit, that's what the deal is.

So now I'll probably have to figure out a way of paying for not only my upcoming chemo treatments, but all the ones I've already had. Fortunately my oncologist and chemo lab are pretty flexible - they mostly roll their eyes and say "Holy shit, that's the worst insurance we've ever heard of." Roger that. I'd be better off I had not paid them a red cent and saved the $1500 a month and applied it to my own medical treatment - I pay the insurance company $1500 a month, and my chemo only costs $1400 a month. Oh, but what happens if you have to go the hospital?? Well, they only pay $5000 a year tops if you're hospitalized. Seriously, I'm missing something here.

I don't want to dwell on it too much because it makes me furious, and I don't think being furious is good for my health right now. I mean, it makes me mad enough my heart pounds and my fists ball up and I fantasize about planting my size 14s in someone's testicular region - not because they offer extremely poor coverage, but because I was stupid enough to imagine that the word "insurance" meant something. I feel a little bit like a fish that bit down on a shiny lure and all of a sudden ended up in the bottom of a fishing boat, looking up at the sky out of a single unblinking eye and wondering "What the hell just happened to me?"

Anyway. I need to calm down. My main priority now is to cure my cancer and survive my chemo, and after that, to pay my medical bills. Getting all worked up about this alleged insurance company isn't doing anything to help. Besides, I'm going to refer the matter to the State of Arizona and see if they can figure out what's going on.

Meantime, I think I'm going to have to defer things like guitars for a while, at least until I get the oncologist all paid up. If anyone in this mess really deserves to be fully paid up, I think it's the doctor who saved my life, not the insurance company that, as near as I can tell, was set up to separate me as efficiently as possible from my disposable income.