Alopecia Maximus

This morning I discovered that my hair is falling out again, and falling out way faster than it ever did on the ABVD protocol. Back during ABVD I could pull on my hair and come out with six, eight, ten, maybe fifteen hairs. But today, I can pull it out by the handful. Entire shocks of hair come out. There's no pain, no sense of tension, nothing - I pull, and out comes big masses of hair.

I almost burst into tears when I made that discovery at work this morning. I expected my hair to fall out, and I'm not that attached to it anyway. It was just a reminder of how sick I really am. Pardon my language, but the CHOP protocol is fucking awful, and when your hair falls out in big wads you're reminded of how bad it really is.

I'll survive. I'm just a low ebb emotionally. I'll feel better when my hair is finally gone and I can go back to wearing my little black beanie like a proper chemotherapy patient.