Item 1: Baby Bump, always uttered in a sentence like this one: Dimwitted celebutard shows off baby bump! We have pictures! I guess saying Dimwitted celebutard is pregnant just isn't cool or chic. And I really don't want to see the pictures either. I don't even care.
Item 2: Keep it real. What on earth does that mean? I like so-and-so because he keeps it real. As opposed to what? Keeping it unreal? Imaginary? Fantastical? As far as I can tell, people who use "keeping it real" as a justification for saying things are just rationalizing the fact that they're thoughtless bastards.
Item 3: Status Shuffle. Apparently some people can't come up with snarky, sarcastic Facebook updates on their own, so they go to some application and pick one. Usually more than one. Five or six. In a row. Arrrrrgh. And as if that isn't enough, someone who's apparently been sniffing too much model glue comes along and says "Ur so funy!" It reminds me of the movie Life of Brian, where Brian shouts to the crowd "You've got to think for yourselves! You're all individuals!" And the crowd shouts back in unison "Yes, we're all individuals!"
Item 4: Speak truth to power. American politics is chock-full of worn-out aphorisms, but this one is one of the more worn-out. Plus I think it's grammatically incorrect; shouldn't it be speak the truth to power? Or even Say things that are true to people who are in positions of authority? But never mind, we're too busy giving it to The Man, speaking truth to power, to be bothered. As if The Man gives a shit. And if someone is "speaking truth to power" and I happen not to agree with them, where does that leave me??
Item 5: Trustworthy. If speaking truth to power is a worn-out motto of the Left, trustworthy is a worn-out motto of the Right. The implication is that liberal things are by their very nature untrustworthy. A good example is Conservapedia, which bills itself as the "trustworthy" alternative to Wikipedia. Someone apparently decided that Wikipedia is a seething cesspool of liberal thought. One of their data points? The fact that some of the people who write Wikipedia entries may not - gasp - be American! I guess you can't be trustworthy if you happen to have been born in Iceland, Japan, or Australia, to cite just a few of those awful, untrustworthy non-American countries. I'm particularly amused that they are bothered by the fact that some people use spellings like "colour" or "flavour" or "tyre". There it is, prima facie evidence of extreme untrustworthiness. There are other words for that, by the way, like xenophobia and Amerocentric jingoism and plain foolishness.
2 comments:
I'm in agreement about the status shuffle! Puh-leeze.
I'm going to start my own Facebook service - "William's Brain Shuffle".
People can post things like "So-and-so says "Cats are like chain-smoking French philosophers; first they eat fish and then they play a trombone." (From William's Brain Shuffle)
Of course it doesn't make sense. Neither does Status Shuffle.
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