Tuesday, May 24, 2011

www.e-damn-nuff.com

Dear Hollywood:

Please consider featuring less of the following:

Judd Apatow

Will Farrell

Movies involving weddings

Saccharine animated morality plays

Jennifer Aniston

Movies that mostly seem to feature people having tired postmodern conversations on cell phones bemoaning the fact that they never seem to do anything but have tired postmodern conversations on cell phones


I think a pretty convincing simulation of Hell could be had by having Judd Apatow produce an animated movie with Jennifer Aniston and Will Farrell as voice talents where they talk endlessly on cell phones about the postmodern angst triggered by their upcoming wedding. Man. That would be enough to make me confess to crimes not yet committed!



Sunday, May 22, 2011

Back To The Grind

I've been on vacation.

No, I haven't. I'm lying. I only wish I'd been on vacation, flitting around the South Pacific in my own flying boat and doing... well, whatever one does in the South Pacific in a flying boat.

Mostly I spent the last few weeks sitting on my well-padded keester writing a novel. Note that I didn't say "publishing" or "sending to an agent" or anything like that. I just like writing them; what happens to them after I'm done seems to be secondary. Oh sure, I think it'd be great to be a rich and famous author, but it's one thing to put about 130,000 words down on in Microsoft Word, and quite another to actually try to sell the thing. I may be 51 years old and I may be fairly secure emotionally, but I'm still in no hurry to start collecting rejection notices in a shoe box. Besides, I have a hard time imagining that anyone would actually pay me to read my stuff - it's hard enough to get people to read it for free.

Still, I may look into e-publishing. I don't have huge financial expectations, and I'm sure the advance for genre fiction of this sort amounts to about fifteen dollars, so I don't think e-publishing would be a major blow to my potential earnings. But it certainly sounds easier than conventional publishing, especially for a hack like me.

What genre is my novel? There are more genres today than one can shake a stick at, but I think when people say "genre fiction" today, they mean that dark romance stuff like Twilight and True Blood, romance novels retooled with vampires and werewolves. That sort of thing isn't for me - I prefer my vampires to look and act like Bela Lugosi, thank you very much, and I am openly scornful of the super-fast vampires popular these days. Watching the backwoods shit-kicker vampires in True Blood go booking off across the bayou at 150 miles per hour makes me roll my eyes, to say the least. (And while I'm the subject, why does every damned vampire in True Blood seem to own a bar or night club? How come none of them are ever shrimpers, or work on off-shore oil rigs?)

Not that I have anything modern "dark romance" novels. I have friends who enjoy them considerably, and that doesn't bother me.

Mostly I write science fiction. Among the novels I read in my formative years were Childhood's End, Rendezvous with Rama, The Forever War, the Berzerker series, Tactics of Mistake, Dorsai!, and to a lesser extent World of Ptaavs and Ringworld. That's more or less what I write, though my own "house universe" that I tend to revisit over and over borrows some prehistory from the old Simulations Publications wargames Starforce and Starsoldier, and maybe a hint of Battlefleet Mars.

And the day that makes me a fifteen dollar advance, I'll be frankly surprised.


Sunday, May 01, 2011

Good Fortune

I don't remember reading a lot of fortune cookies as a boy. Maybe they didn't exist back in the Pleistocene, when mammoths (and I) roamed the landscape. I read that fortune cookies were invented "in the early 20th century", so maybe they predate me a little (I hail from the "middle 20th century", and my fossils can be found in strata marked "Late Eisenhower Epoch"). But I still have no boyhood memory of fortune cookies, or for that matter Chinese restaurants in general.

It wasn't that we disliked Chinese food. Later on, Dad got in the habit of stir-frying, and I remember that pretty clearly. His stir-frying endeavors were enthusiastic, but not always strictly successful. An adherent of the Iowa "More Isn't Enough" school of cookery, he overloaded the wok to such an extent that nothing was ever truly stir-fried; the best one could say of it was that it had been stir-simmered. And he made heavy use of five-spice, which is truly the plutonium of gastronomy. (Ralph Nader once said that a pound of plutonium, ground into dust, could kill eight billion people. Critics of this theory cry "Bullshit! A pound of plutonium could only kill two million people!" That's a relief. For a while I was getting really worried.) It doesn't take much five-spice to make everything taste like five-spice, and dad shoveled it in by the tablespoon. Weeks later I could still taste it, and I later estimated the half-life of five-spice was about twenty days.

What I'm really saying here is that I don't know what the fortunes in fortune cookies were like back in the golden days, when cars had fins and Ike's ghost beamed paternally down at us. There is some argument that fortune cookies are actually Japanese in origin, sort of a shotgun (or Shogun) wedding of independently-existing cookies and fortunes at some temple in Kyoto. This could be true. Any viewing of anime must surely lead one to the conclusion that Japanese culture is capable of producing almost anything.

But mostly I wonder if the actual fortunes in the cookies were different in the Olden Days. Were they actual fortunes? Actual testable predictions of events yet to transpire? Like the California Psychics, only without a 1-800 number? I like to think so. You will meet an enigmatic stranger. That would be kind of fun. Or maybe they would be vaguely ominous, like Beware of Pomeranians, leaving you to wonder if they were referring to the dogs or the people. Or maybe they'd be strangely self-referential, like Help, I'm trapped in a Chinese fortune cookie factory!

I don't know. But what I do know is that the three most recent fortunes I've gotten in Chinese restaurants have been unsatisfying. The discovery that multiple Chinese restaurants all used fortune cookies made by the same company unsettled me - the notion of fortunes being bought and sold wholesale seems to cheapen the whole endeavor, just a little. This suggests that somewhere in the sprawling Chinese Fortune Cookie works, there is one guy at a desk writing fortunes, and he's starting to get a little bored and complacent. "Nobody reads this crap anyway," he says as he copies and pastes in random text. But I read them.

So let's look at my most recent fortunes.

A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.

Huh. You might want to double-check with the skipper of the Exxon Valdez on that one. And I might point out that a smooth sea never made me spill coffee on my shirt either. This one has a distinct consolation prize quality about it, as though it feels sorry for me and is trying to buck up my flagging joie de vivre by chucking me on the shoulder and offering some small-potatoes consolation like "Well, at least you didn't lose both eyes..."

In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

And if this was really true, we'd still be drilling holes in people's skulls to let the evil spirits out. It turns out that what we believe to be true often turns out to be total crap, and when we realize how wrong we were, we feel pretty stupid. But in a way, this fortune does provide one useful service: it seems to sum up the entire body of post-modern thought in one sentence. It may be wrong, but saves one a good deal of time and bother. Don't bother with Harvard, guys, here's post-modernism in a single sentence.

Alas! You are the apple of my eye.

This one really bothers me, mostly because it sounds so embarrassed about the whole thing. It's like it has a crush on me, but it finds that crush distasteful in some way. I like you, but you always embarrass me in public. I like you, but my friends think you're a loser. I like you, but I wish I didn't because you always smell like Beef-A-Roni. I like you, but honey, nobody cares if the Ringworld is unstable or not.

But I guess it isn't a total loss. At least now I know what my lucky numbers are. All eighteen of them.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Haven't The Gear

Many years ago I was sent to England on business. A driver picked me up at Heathrow to drive me to my place of work in Basingstoke. Nice car, too - a big comfy Mercedes so shiny and black I could practically hear Darth Vader's heavy breathing every time I glanced at it. But some sort of irritating flying insect had gone up the driver's nose and he had an axe to grind. This was not long after Operation Desert Storm in the early 1990s, and my British driver felt the need to tell me what he thought of Americans in general, and the US Air Force in specific. The American military was a bunch of amateurs, he claimed, and the Royal Air Force had had to carry the bulk of the burden in Desert Storm because "you Yanks haven't the gear." According to him, the British had flown most of the sorties in Desert Storm because US aircraft and weapons were inferior, US pilots were untrained rabble, American junk was shot out of the sky as soon as it appeared, and only the British could get the job done.

At the time I'd already helped myself to a series of reports submitted to the Office of Management and Budget, which included among other things a very detailed inventory of "select aircraft types" that flew missions in Desert Storm. Certain aircraft were not listed. The AC-130 was not in the report, for example, because its mission profile didn't fit the "sortie" model that the report was based on. F-15C Eagles were not included, as they flew air superiority missions and had no ground attack mission programming (though a separate section on the report on F-15C Eagle air-to-air kills in USAF and Saudi hands made fascinating reading). Other aircraft, such as United Arab Emirates Mirage IIIs or Kuwaiti A-4s, were not in the report because they were felt to be statistically insignificant. And some aircraft were excluded for reasons I simply can't fathom, such as F-4G Wild Weasels, B-52 Stratofortresses, A-7 Corsairs, USMC AV-8 Harriers, and F-111Es (the report only included F-111Fs).

So the data aren't entirely complete, but the report does paint a pretty clear picture, and several conclusions could be drawn from it. The most obvious one is that the vast majority of programmed strike missions in Desert Storm were flown by US aircraft, and specifically USAF aircraft. In fact, the breakdown looks a bit like this:

Aircraft Percentage of Strikes

F-117 Stealth Fighter 5.03%

A-6E Intruder: 7.36%

A-10 Thunderbolt: 24.31%

F-111F: 7.88%

F-15E Strike Eagle: 5.98%

F-16C Falcon: 32.92%

F-18 Hornet: 12.81%

Tornado GR.1: 3.71%

Two USAF types, the A-10 and the F-16, flew over half of all programmed strike missions in Desert Storm, and the total USAF contribution amounted to about 76% of all missions, and that doesn't include F-111Es, B-52s, or F-4Gs. Not bad for people who "haven't the gear."

Another interesting part of the report listed Coalition air losses. Here are the tabulated air losses from Desert Storm:

Aircraft Number Lost

F-117: 0

F-111F: 0

F-15E: 2

A-6E: 3

A-10: 5

OA-10: 2

F-16: 3

F-18: 3

B-52: 0

Tornado GR.1: 9

F-4G: 1

F-14 Tomcat: 1

EF-111A "Sparkvark": 1

OV-10 Bronco: 2

AV-8B Harrier: 5

AC-130 Spectre: 1

F-5E Tiger II: 1

A-4 Skyhawk: 1

The striking thing here is the Tornado GR.1, which suffered by far the highest absolute and percentage loss rate of any airplane in Desert Storm. The Tornado GR.1 loss rate per mission was twenty-six times higher than the F-16s, which isn't very good for an aircraft which, presumably, "has the gear". (There are reasons why the Tornado's loss rate was so high. The Tornado's low-altitude, high-speed mission profile is very demanding even in peacetime, and I can't imagine the balls of the British and Saudi pilots who flew those missions at night, with tracers and missiles coming up, in hostile territory. But it is interesting to note that once the RAF abandoned these low-altitude missions and adopted the USAF model of dropping PGMs from medium altitude, using Buccaneers as marker aircraft, Tornado losses dropped to about what one would expect - basically zero, in other words.)

Someone Famous once said that there are lies, damned lies, and statistics, and the accuracy of my analysis can be no more accurate than the data that was in the reports submitted to the OMB. And institutions (such as the USAF, the RAF, and even NASA) have on occasion been known to spin statistics in their favor. But it's hard to fake things like the numbers of aircraft committed, the numbers of missions flown, and the numbers of aircraft shot down. Where the fudging may have taken place is in the part of the report that listed "fully successful" missions as opposed to "not fully successful" missions, and I won't speculate on that data. It is altogether too easy for analysts to adjust the success criteria to make whatever point they want to make, and in any event, it's hard to tell in the real world if a given strike has been fully successful or not. When you attack a single tank with a GBU-10, success is pretty easy to determine. But when you attack the Baghdad Nuclear Research Center with a strike package of 60+ assorted aircraft, how exactly do you determine whether you were "fully successful" or not?

I knew all this, but I didn't argue with the driver. Mistaking my silence for agreement, he seemed very pleased with himself, as though he'd scored some sort of moral victory over those awful, amateurish Colonials, and restored the Crown to its rightful stature. But I've rarely been so happy to get out of a car as I was that day, and I drew considerable comfort from the fact that I'd never see him again.

But not because of his obvious and fairly impassioned anti-American bias. He has the perfect right to think whatever he wants about Americans, or Germans, or Brazilians, or about the Scots, for that matter. I really couldn't have cared less what he thought of America or Americans. I disliked him because I am readily irked by ignorant, uninformed people who won't keep their ignorant, uninformed cake-holes shut. I don't mind ignorance. And I don't mind obstreperousness. But obstreperous ignorance really wears me out. So if you're going to give me a 45 minute lecture on something, please endeavor to know about it than I do. There are a great many subjects that I know nothing about. Public education, psychology, gene splicing, TCP/IP protocols, cell phone apps, Russian politics, child-rearing, Paris Hilton, the stock market, monetary policy, Hinduism, class warfare in Brazil, narco-trafficking, HDTV, fashion, book publishing, tensor calculus and a hundred others. So please lecture me on something I don't know about, so it's a win-win all the way around.

The car driver's impression of the US military isn't exactly unique. There's a widespread bias in books written by British authors against the US military. Some of their criticisms are certainly valid, such as the observation that the US Army worried so much about the old threat (the Soviet Group of Forces in Germany) that it was poorly trained and poorly equipped to deal with the new threat (Osama bin Laden on horseback escaping from Tora Bora). British critics who pointed out that the US Army's tendency to relentlessly escalate the application of firepower in any given situation was counterproductive in an insurgency were right - there were even Americans who said that, chiefly US Marine Corps counterinsurgency experts, who seemed to be the only people in the US military who did any serious thinking about asymmetrical warfare at all.

Mostly the European bias against the US military is expressed in glossy photograph-laden popular books about weapons, especially tanks and airplanes. There's often a sort of sports mentality to the thing, where Some British Guy asserts that the Tornado is way better than any stinking American airplane simply because it's British. And if you read enough of these books, you find yourself inhabiting a world where European and especially British weapons are always superior because Americans are bumpkins fascinated with gadgets. The Eurofighter Typhoon is way better than the F-16. The Tornado is way better than the F-15E. The Rafale is way better than the F-18. The Vulcan was way better than the B-52. And certain notorious program failures, like the TSR.2 and the Avro Arrow, always seem to end up being my fault in some way (as an American, I am apparently an accessory after the fact to whatever nefarious American schemes that led to the cancellation of the TRS.2 or the Arrow or whatever).

To be fair, there are plenty of American writers who do the same thing, only in reverse. The F-16 becomes the most amazing fighter ever built simply because it wears stars-and-bars instead of roundels, and the whole thing turns into slightly goofy boosterism - my football team is better than your football team because everyone knows that red jerseys are better than green jerseys! My football team is better than your football team because you live in a warm city and the climate makes people soft and flaccid, while my cold and demanding climate makes linemen tough and mean! My football team is better than your football team because... Well, because I've attached my ego to my football team and I demand that it's better!

This doesn't bother me. I generally hew to the Trevor Dupuy school of thought anyway, which is that in the end, the exact operational parameters of any given weapon aren't nearly as important as the uses to which you put it - that leadership, logistics, organization, surprise, training, and even numbers are in the end considerably more important than whether this airplane is a bit faster than that one, or whether this airplane can turn at 9.5 gees and that one can only turn at 8.5 gees. One wouldn't expect a Sopwith Camel to prevail against a Focke-Wulf Fw 190 in air combat too many times, but as long as the airplanes are reasonably comparable - a Spitfire V against an Fw 190 - the "paper" advantages of one airplane over the other are largely swamped by other, often intangible factors (maybe, on the day in question, Fritz had a hangover and never saw Nigel in his Spitfire until it was too late).

So I was driving home from work the other day, listening to the BBC news on NPR, and some NATO "defence" spokesman was pleading for help from - gasp - the United States Air Force. Apparently, according to this spokesman, NATO lacks aircraft with "precision ground attack capability." But wait a minute, haven't you guys been cudgeling my brain for the last ten years on the superiority of the Tornado, and the even more sheer superiority of the Typhoon? If they're so good (and they are good, I don't doubt that) why does NATO need "precision ground attack capability" from the US Air Force? Are you admitting, in your roundabout fashion, that the US Air Force possesses capabilities that your air forces don't?

Of course it does.

What this NATO spokesman was asking for were two USAF aircraft in particular, the A-10 Thunderbolt and the AC-130. Yes, I know most people call A-10s "Warthogs", but for some reason I just don't feel entitled to use insider jargon in such matters. My friend may have served on the "Bonnie Dick", but to me, it was the USS Bonhomme Richard. My uncle may have worked on "Aardvarks", but to me, they're F-111s. A distant, distant uncle may have flown a "Gustav", but to me it's an Me 109G.

But whatever I call it, it seems clear to me that NATO is asking for A-10s and AC-130s, aircraft that are capable of attacking ground targets in a fairly heavy-duty way. As far as I know, no other air force has aircraft like the A-10 or the AC-130, the nearest analog to the former being the Russian Su-25, and nobody else has anything like the AC-130.

They don't have a single good thing to say about the US Air Force, but when it turns out that they can't destroy elderly Libyan T-55 tanks that are almost completely unprotected by battlefield air defense systems, they plead for A-10s and AC-130s.

It must gall my British car driver to no end to realize that, in the end, "they haven't the gear."

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Writer's Block

Boy have I have writer's block lately. I'm sure this is a cause for national alarm. "He had writer's block! Quick, someone send him a cup of tea or something to get him unstuck!" Most people probably think writer's block is a made-up condition, a chic affectation of some self-described intellectual elite. But it's real, and it sucks.

It isn't that I don't have ideas or things that I want to write about. I just can't seem to articulate anything. It's like knowing you want to build a cabinet, but every time you plunk down a piece of wood on the table saw, it comes out ragged or crooked or flies out of the saw with such force is goes through the wall and into the neighbor's house. After a while you get gun-shy and reject every idea. "A novel about an imprisoned cannibal serial killer who helps an FBI agent solve a series of gruesome murders? That's STUPID. Nobody will buy that."

Back in my college days I found calculus a somewhat difficult subject. I still do, and recognize my relative lack of facility with higher math as a kind of character flaw. Sometimes during tests I'd erase my work so many times I'd erode holes through the paper, and afterwards when I stood up a half a pound of overheated eraser crumbs would fall off my lap onto the floor. That's kind of like what having writer's block is like - I produce a lot of eraser crumbs and I backspace over things so many times the phosphors fall off my computer screen, but I never seem to actually write anything.

To an extent, writer's block in an amateur writer is kind of silly. It's like telling someone "My doctor has advised me not to attempt Mount Everest" while you're standing in Iowa. It may be true, but so what? But since I am now by my own definition anyway a published author, it is now a professional handicap, like someone suffering from Tourette's Syndrome trying to make a living as a professional poker player ("Son of a bitch! Three of a kind!") I'm not MUCH of an author - one writing job for an extremely niche magazine - but hey, one has to start somewhere.

Usually I have the opposite problem - namely, writing WAY more than was necessary or wise. I'm sure when I turned in my magazine job, the editors had to take a hedge clipper to it. "We asked for 1500 words and we got this! Hand me the chain saw!" It isn't easy being edited, especially when you tend to run long by nature, but it probably isn't easy being an editor either, asking for 1500 words about the Chinese invasion of Tibet and getting something on the scale of Ulysses S. Grant's memoirs. I have to imagine that editors must sometimes clap their hands to their foreheads and sigh "How many bags of M&Ms did he have to eat while he wrote this opus?"

I'm always amused when people tell me how they had to squeeze in the margins and enlarge the font to get their scrawny papers up to five pages. I was always having to move the margins out and use fonts like Flyspeck-3 to get them down to five pages. I wrote a paper for some sociology class once whose mere bibliography was longer than the complete papers of most of the other students. Another time I was placidly typing away at a novel and realized that I was up to 1,150 pages and I still had no idea how to end the thing! I still don't. A long time ago I was writing a novel on my old Commodore 64 and hit the limits of how big the document in the word processor could be. Not one character more would fit. I felt a bit like a chastened Christopher Columbus sailing off the edge of the word crying "Crap! I thought the edge of the world was just a metaphor!" Another time I was writing a paper about the early days of NATO, especially the decision to allow West Germany to rearm, and was suddenly struck by the fact that I was writing a section on the Franco-Prussian War of 1870! Now THAT'S a digression. (One might profitably surmise that writing outlines isn't one of my strengths either. But I'm pretty good at writing outlines. I just suck at sticking to them.)

Normally I have two weaknesses as a writer. The first is that I can be unbelievably prolix. The second is that I have trouble finishing anything. The two are related, but distinct. In a nutshell, I'm bad at writing the way Stephen King advises. That is, to write the dang thing down at least once with no attempt to edit, self-censor, embellish or otherwise meddle. Write it once, finish it, and then put it away for a while to steep. Me, I get halfway through, have a better idea, back up, start over, become disillusioned with the better idea, undo everything and revert to the original, make some more progress, then decide that the better idea was better after all... "No! Circus clowns! That's it! It's all circus clowns and it takes place in... Paraguay! Yes! No! Yes!" It starts out being a horror novel, so why have I written thirty pages on how rock crushers at gravel pits work?

It's so demoralizing.

The result is a hacked-up mass of scar tissue that makes Joseph Conrad seem breezy and concise. And then there's the fact that they never actually end; I just run out of interest or ideas or, sometimes, memory in my computer.

But these days I'm really stuck, and it's frustrating. The best approach is to not worry about it. It's like trying to remember Ethel Merman's name - as soon as you stop trying to remember it, you'll remember it. But it takes longer. To get rid of writer's block, I have to stop writing for a week or two, and that's bad. Writing is (for me, anyway) a bit like taking out the trash: if I don't do it on a fairly regular basis, things kind of pile up and start to smell. So not writing for any length time amounts to dropping a tuna fish sandwich in the kitchen trash can and pretending it isn't there for a week or two, olfactory clues to the contrary.

So that unpleasant smell you're picking up right now? That's just my tuna fish sandwich.



Saturday, April 09, 2011

Martian or Lunatic?

I used to be an unconditional proponent of manned spaceflight. Manned spaceflight was good by definition, and I didn't need no steenking arguments about jobs, spin-offs, or anything else to justify it. And that's still generally true. If the choice is between manned spaceflight with no purpose, or no manned spaceflight at all, I'll take manned spaceflight for a thousand, Alex.

But I'm not as naive as I used to be, and while I'm still a strong proponent (or exponent?) of manned spaceflight, I'm reaching an age and level of maturity where I'd like to see results. Manned spaceflight, yes. But preferably, manned spaceflight for a reason, and not just so we can say we have some government employees floating around up there.

Let's cut the mustard (or the cheese) right up front: people in space appear to generate very little in the way of fundamental science. When you name some of the most fruitful space explorations in terms of raw scientific output, they're always unmanned: Hubble Space Telescope, Galileo, SOHO, Voyagers 1 and 2, Viking - the list is endless. What great hauls of scientific data has manned spaceflight brought back? Umm....

The point of people in space isn't to do Big Science. People actually get in the way of that. Ever wonder why there isn't a big telescope mounted on the ISS? Because the vibration of all those people moving around, and all those fans and pumps that keep the people alive, makes for truly miserable seeing through a telescope.

Well then, what's the use of sending people into space at all? If it's easier and cheaper to launch robotic probes, and if the scientific haul is better anyway, why send people up there at all? Well, basically, to study how people live in space. The goal of putting people in space should be to eventually develop the ability to send them somewhere and establish, if not an actual colony, then at least a semi-permanently manned facility. So when we send people to the ISS now, it should be with the goal of developing the capability for manned interplanetary spaceflight.

NASA seems bad at articulating this sort of strategy. They present all sorts of arguments in favor of the ISS, but never the most important one. They talk about the science, the economic benefits, the technological spin-offs, but they never seem to come out and say "We want to learn how to live and work in space so we can go to Mars." I'm not naive and I know why they don't - going to Mars sounds like science fiction, and very expensive science fiction at that, and if the average lawmaker in Washington suspected that NASA was having Martian dreams, they'd probably preemptively de-fund the whole thing. In the same way that von Braun had to build vengeance weapons for Hitler to pay for his private dreams of colonizing space, NASA has to do what Congress will allow it to do so it can have its private dreams of colonizing space too. And as Carl Sagan once said, if Teflon is your main justification for the Apollo program, wouldn't it have been cheaper to just develop Teflon in the first place and skip that whole moon business?

The point of putting people into space is to send them somewhere so they can live. Ultimately, so that if something dreadful happens (asteroid impact, nuclear war, pandemic) and civilization on Earth crumbles, there'll be other human civilizations out there that won't go down the drain with the mother planet. That is the basic reason for going - so that if the worst happens, there'll still be people out there somewhere who remember Beethoven.

But where should we go? The moon seems like an obvious candidate - we've already been there, and it's close at hand. But I think building a permanent presence on the moon would amount to a long and very costly sideshow.

Moon proponents point out that eons of exposure has filled the crust of the moon with a rare isotope of helium, helium-3, and that it might be commercially lucrative to mine the lunar regolith for helium-3 and ship it to Earth, where it could be used in fusion reactors to provide essentially free energy. And that argument might make sense if we actually had fusion reactors that could use helium-3, but we don't, and probably won't for another hundred years pending some exotic breakthrough in magnetohydrodynamics.

I think Mars is by far the most logical candidate for future human colonization, much more so than the moon or the asteroids.

Mars has water. Lots of water. And water is practically the sine qua non of a space colony. And Martian water is probably going to be a lot easier to get at than whatever scant amounts the moon can offer.

Mars has an atmosphere, which means you can do all sorts of things with heat shields and parachutes to lose velocity that you can't do on the moon. Aerobraking and parachute-retarded entry have engineering challenges of their own, but as recent Mars probes have shown, once you figure out how to do it, you can use the atmosphere as a powerful brake and save enormous quantities of rocket fuel.

Mars has free carbon dioxide in its atmosphere, free for the taking. Carbon dioxide isn't too useful to humans in its native state, but it can be used as feedstock for chemical reactions that produce things that are useful to humans.

The Martian atmosphere provides pretty good protection from meteoroids, so you can think about building large inflatable structures without having to worry too much about them being deflating by any passing grain of dust. Large impacts can still deflate your domed city, but the Martian atmosphere essentially removes small objects as potential threats.

The Martian atmosphere provides at least some radiation shielding. Mars has no ozone layer, so the surface is exposed to full-bore ultraviolet radiation. And Mars has no magnetic field, so the solar wind isn't deflected as it is around Earth. But random collisions with the Martian atmosphere would attenuate at least some of the radiation threats. You'd probably still need to bunker in and sleep underground to protect yourself from the solar wind, but you'd have to do that on the moon anyway.

The Martian atmosphere offers advantages in cooling. On the moon, the only means of cooling anything is radiation. But on Mars, heat exchangers or radiators become possibilities, so the power density of your power generation systems can presumably be increased because of the more competent cooling schemes available. There wouldn't be a lot of cooling by convection or direct transmission, but some is a lot better than none.

The Martian day is pretty close to an Earth day, which would seem to have advantages in terms of adaptation. A lunar "day" is about two weeks long, which would take some getting used to, but a Martian day is about twenty-four-and-a-half hours.

The Martian atmosphere moderates temperatures. On the moon, temperatures vary wildly as objects pass through shadow and sunlight. Temperature swings of hundreds of degrees exist, and engineering things so that they aren't damaged, overwhelmed or even prematurely fatigued by wild temperature excursions is tricky. But on Mars, it's mostly just cold. There are temperature extremes, and it still gets plenty cold, but the atmosphere limits the scale of the swings so your engineering challenge is somewhat less daunting than it would be on the moon.

Mars isn't perfect. The atmosphere is extremely thin and some sort of pressure suit would still be required. It isn't a vacuum and it wouldn't kill you as quickly as a vacuum, but it would still kill you, and in a matter of minutes rather than hours. The topsoil on Mars isn't very hospitable either. The incessant bombardment by ultraviolet radiation (which is bad in and of itself) creates weird peroxides and superoxides in the Martian soil, and it isn't entirely clear to me if they would present a health risk if you tracked in a bunch of that junk on your boots. And since Mars has no magnetic field, you can't rely on compasses to tell you which way to go. But these caveats are all true of the moon as well, and the moon doesn't appear to offer any compensating advantages.

The moon has, as near as I can figure, only two real advantages. The first is that it has a low escape velocity and no atmosphere at all, so it isn't entirely unrealistic to imagine that one could launch cargoes from the moon using some kind of mass driver or rail setup. The other is that the far side of the moon is the only spot in the solar system that is permanently shielded from Earth's endless electromagnetic radiation, and it would be a good spot to build big radio telescopes.

But past that? I'd rather be a Martian than a Lunatic.





Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Fermi Paradox

I enjoy thinking about the Fermi Paradox.

The Fermi Paradox, if you haven't heard of it, basically amounts to the question "Where the hell is everyone?" If the universe is as old as we think it is, and if it's as large as we think it is, and if it's as full of water, organic molecules, and temperate planets as we think it is, how come the universe isn't teeming with intelligent life? How come all our SETI screensavers aren't finding alien radio signals all the time? Why the hell is the universe so silent?

Who knows why. But it's fun to posit possible answers to the Fermi Paradox, mostly because it's so much like writing science fiction. There's no evidence one way or the other, and for now there isn't even hope of find any evidence, so we can imagine whatever we want, in effect projecting our particular outlooks on the universe at large.

Some answers are religious in nature - that is, that God made man in His image on one planet and one planet alone, and the rest of the universe is nothing but a fairly showy backdrop for our terrestrial drama. Some answers have a deep-rooted pessimism that basically argue that the coefficients we plug into the Drake Equation aren't just wrong, they're wildly wrong, many orders of magnitude wrong, leading to so-called "lonely Earth" scenarios.

But the best ones sound like the plots of science fiction novels, or vice versa.

Such as the theory that the aliens are already here, but such is their technological sophistication and their discretion that they only reveal themselves to selected individuals, often in rural settings. Why they'll visit the guy that runs the body shop and not the President is a question I leave to the specialists.

Such as the theory that some alien race somewhere along the line developed nanotechnology, but didn't put enough safeguards in place. Their nanoassemblers got loose, and now the biospheres of most of the planets in the universe consist of barren rock and a grey goo of trillions of nanoassemblers.

Such as the theory that some alien race, on the losing side of some terrible war, built a doomsday weapon of some sort that got out of control, and this weapon now cruises the universe, still faithful to its original programming of finding and exterminating life where it finds it (insert here any number of science fiction stories, everything from Star Trek to Fred Saberhagen's Berzerkers). Who knows, maybe even as you read this, this terrible doomsday machine has detected the ghostly signals of Three's Company re-runs and is already on its way to Earth.

Or maybe the "default egghead position" is wrong, and that advanced alien civilizations are not necessarily peaceful, benevolent, or even indifferent; maybe they're openly and avowedly hostile and think nothing of wiping out, enslaving, or even eating lesser civilizations, such as ours.

Or maybe the universe is populated by some incredibly powerful alien civilization, a civilization so advanced that it doesn't even recognize us as being intelligent, and maybe this alien race dispassionately exterminates young civilizations where it finds them, the same way we spray new ant colonies where we find them.

Or maybe some group of wise alien civilizations had a big meeting and decided that we were currently too brutal, too primitive, too warlike to make contact with just yet, so they've put us in a kind of galactic play-pen until we grow up a little.

Or maybe life is common, but intelligent life is not so common because it is the habit of technological civilizations to develop the means of mass destruction (that is, nuclear weapons) before they develop the wisdom to refrain from using them.

Or maybe it is the habit of young technological civilizations to exterminate themselves through ever more destructive wars, or to engineer their own demises through foolish genetic experiments, ecological mismanagement, or technological hijinks like the famous Tralfamadorian spaceship propulsion system accident that Kurt Vonnegut wrote about.

Or maybe it's more sociological than that. Maybe it is the habit of the citizens of technological civilizations to get so hooked on materialism and entertainment they forget that civilization doesn't exist to exalt the ego of the individual, but to ensure its own survival and success, and thus yet another civilization slips into what Arthur C. Clarke called "the dream of the lotus-eaters".

Or maybe the universe just isn't a very good place to live. Gamma ray bursts are rare, but maybe they happen just often enough that most of the universe at any given time is either being sterilized by a gamma ray burst, or recovering from being sterilized by one.

Or maybe every civilization eventually reaches the point where it can build particle accelerators powerful enough to create strange forms of "exotic matter" like magnetic monopoles and strangelets that go on to consume their planets right out from under them.

Here's my take. Maybe in every technological civilization there exist budget-cutters who kill their space programs so that when a big planet-killing asteroid comes along, and one most assuredly will, they don't have any kind of efficient nuclear propulsion systems that would allow them to deflect said planet-killing asteroid.

Hmm.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The NERVA of them!

On his blog, Warren Zoell asked the question "What went wrong?" on his excellent modeling blog. What went wrong with the space program, that is; how did we go from the seeming optimism of the late 1960s and early 1970s to this current sorry state of affairs? You can read his post here: http://thegreatcanadianmodelbuilderswebpage.blogspot.com/2011/03/you-look-up-at-sky-one-night-and.html.

I've been so busy at work I haven't had time to work on a model or write anything about the demise of the space dream in general, but I've at least thought about it.

We all know the arguments, one way or the other. How can we afford space when we have all these other problems on Earth to deal with? How can we NOT afford space when we have all these other problems on Earth to deal with? I'm not going going to recapitulate the arguments, partly because I'm never going to change anyone's mind, and partly because I'm so tired, frustrated and aggravated with work issues I'm not sure I'm capable of generating a coherent argument in favor of anything (the only thing I'm sure of right now is this: I cannot allow them to stress me into losing my cancer remission).

But here's my vision of What Should Have Been.

It starts with the basic technology of the Apollo Program, specifically the Saturn V booster. You then add a nuclear upper stage to the Saturn V.
This is what a flight-ready nuclear engine would have looked like had the NERVA (Nuclear Engine for Rocket Vehicle Applications) program been allowed to produce one. It basically amounts to a modest nuclear reactor roughly the size of a large curbside garbage can. You pump liquid hydrogen into the left end (and, because you're pumping liquid hydrogen, you can exploit odd exothermal effects to bootstrap the pumps so you don't need anything extra to run the pumps). The liquid hydrogen is heated to about 2,000 degrees C in the reactor core in the middle, and then you allow it to squirt out the back.

But why? What advantages does this offer over an existing chemical rocket engine?

The efficiency of a rocket engine, and thus its final ability to do useful work, depends upon an arcane measurement called specific impulse. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that the specific impulse rating of a rocket engine is sort of like the miles-per-gallon rating of an automobile. People get all worked up over total thrust, which is sort of like a car's horsepower rating, and total thrust is a factor when you're actually trying to leave Earth. But assuming you're already in space (that is, assuming that the Saturn V booster has already gotten you into orbit), thrust is meaningless. All that matters, once you're in space, are two numbers: the rocket's mass ratio and the engine's specific impulse. That's all. (Mass ratio, by the way, is a measurement of how much of the spacecraft's total weight is fuel.)

The point is that once you get in space, all the other measurements fall away and all you're working with is mass ratio and specific impulse. Nothing else matters, at least from the performance point of view.

The higher the specific impulse, the better. A given engine's specific impulse is determined basically by one thing: how fast the junk squirts out the back. And as it turns out, how fast the junk squirts out the back depends on two things: how light the junk is in the first place, and how hot it is when it squirts out the back. Lighter junk squirts out faster than heavier junk, and hotter junk squirts out faster than cooler junk.

So let's say we have some rocket engine, and we want to send some imaginary payload to some groovy place like Mars. We've done all we can to make the payload as light as possible, but it turns out that we still can't get there from here - to make the mission work, we either have to increase the mass ratio to the point where the booster is the size of a small moon and sends a payload the size of a lunch box, or we have to increase the specific impulse of the engine.

How do we increase the specific impulse? One is to use propellants with a lighter atomic weight - that is, make the junk lighter. Another is to make the engine run hotter by burning more energetic fuels.

Chemical rocket engines work by combining two different chemicals, igniting them, and allowing the heat of combustion to force the burned junk out the back. The choice of fuels determines how hot the fire will be, and how light the burned junk will be. Sometimes there are good engineering reasons for using less than optimal propellants - the Saturn V first stage burned kerosene and liquid oxygen, a combination that isn't great for specific impulse but has certain advantages in terms of cost and ease of handling. But once you're in space, you want to use the best combination you can so you can get the best specific impulse, and that means oxygen and hydrogen.

Burning liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen gives you hottest fire, and it gives you the lightest burned junk squirting out the back. And it turns out that this combination gives you a specific impulse of about 460 seconds (don't worry about what the seconds means). And there's nothing you can do to make it better. There's no way to engineer more specific impulse out of the engine - no magnets on the fuel lines, no chips, no vortex generators in the air filter. You can add stuff like fluorine to the liquid oxygen to make it a little hotter, but the engineering challenges of a fluorine oxidizer are so formidable they aren't worth pursuing.

The point is that the best chemical propellants will give you a specific impulse of about 460, because they only burn so hot and the burned junk is only so light (the combustion product of oxygen and hydrogen is water, two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom, and there's just no way to make that any lighter than it already is).

And it turns out that a specific impulse of 460 seconds is pretty limiting. It becomes hard to do things with such a low specific impulse. Missions take much longer (remember how long it took Cassini to Saturn?) and payloads have to become very small (remember how dinky Mars Pathfinder was?) for anything to get done, and the combination of long mission times and small payloads makes manned landings on Mars (the sine qua non of any space program, as far as I'm concerned) exceedingly impractical.

What can you do? Nothing. There's no chemical propellants that give a better specific impulse, and you can't squash men down until they have the size, weight, and life support requirements of fruit flies.

But you can abandon chemical rocket engines entirely and use a nuclear engine. Nuclear engines can run arbitrarily hot - ideally, as close to the melting point of the engine's components as you can get without it actually melting. And gaseous-core reactors are potentially possible, which have no arbitrary temperature limit at all. They're already in the form of a gas, so the melting point of the components doesn't matter. And since you don't have to actually burn anything to produce the junk that squirts out the back, you can pick the lightest junk possible - hydrogen.

This gives you an engine that runs much hotter than a chemical engine, and squirts out the lightest possible junk. All you need is the will (and the money) to build it. And with such an engine doing the pushing, mission times drop dramatically, and payloads increase dramatically. Want to get to Mars in sixty days? Can do. Want to land men on Mars? Can do. Want to send a probe to Pluto in a year? Can do. Want to build a kind of space tugboat that can efficiently shuttle cargo back and forth between a space station and the Moon? Can do.

The advantages of this sort of nuclear-thermal propulsion have been known since the days of Tsiolkovsky, and all of the major pioneers (Goddard, von Braun and Oberth, among others) understood the advantages of them too. The only limit on the specific impulse of the nuclear rocket is the temperature of the reactor core, and there's no arbitrary upper limit on that; it's simply a matter of how good your engineering is.

The first tests were performed by the Americans after World War Two. The first tests were pretty unpleasant affairs - the reactors tended to disintegrate and it was common for them to spit glowing chunks of uranium fuel a thousand feet into the air, which nobody wants. But development went smoothly and quite quickly, and by the mid-1960s the NERVA program had produced engines that ran reliably for hours at a time, remained under good control while being throttled, could be started up and shut down relatively quickly, and most important of all tended to stay together in one piece. And they produced specific impulses that started at about 850 (that is, almost twice as efficient as the best conceivable chemical rocket engines) and proceeded upward from there, some of them nudging 1,000 as the high-temperature engineering of the fuel assemblies proceeded. The Soviets, who came into the game later, were said to have built an engine that ran with a specific impulse of 1,200 in the 1980s.

The success of the American NERVA program is not well understood, even in the aerospace field. I've talked to engineers in the field, and though my results aren't scientific by any means, the common perception is that the nuclear-thermal engines either didn't work at all, only barely worked, or tended to blow up in glowing mushroom clouds. But they didn't. They worked. They worked spectacularly well.

There were accidents, of course. During one engine test, they ran out of liquid hydrogen and the reactor melted down almost instantaneously. In other tests, the fuel elements broke and glowing bits of the core shot out the nozzle. And all the tests tended to make the test stand radioactive through the process of neutron activation on hitherto-nonradioactive materials. And there was always the problem of the exhaust plume blowing atoms of uranium and other radioactive fission products into the atmosphere, which probably wasn't smart, Ann Coulter's belief in radiation hormesis notwithstanding. And in one test, they deliberately allowed a reactor to catastrophically overheat and blow up, just to see how bad a launch pad accident would be (the answer: not as bad as the doomsayers predicted, but still bad enough - it's still a nuclear reactor, and nuclear reactors aren't the same as a vinegar-and-baking soda rocket at all).

But my central point is that if you combine the power and relative safety of the Saturn V booster with the efficiency of the nuclear rocket engine, many things suddenly become possible. Not just possible in the engineering sense, but even practical. Without getting all bogged down in the mathematics, teaming a nuclear upper stage with a booster like the Saturn V doubles the payload that can be dispatched to any point in the Solar System, and halves the time it takes to get there. And that's the worst case. By clustering nuclear engines, or by using better nuclear engines, the payload just keeps going up and the mission time just keeps going down.

Consider the Orion shuttle from the movie 2001. I always assumed it used nuclear-thermal engines in orbit. You wouldn't want to light up its nuclear engines on the ground, because you don't want to make the spaceport itself radioactive. And you wouldn't want to run the nuclear engines in fairly dense air, because the air itself tends to backscatter neutrons and gamma rays from the reactor core. But once you're above 100,000 feet, backscatter radiation becomes negligible (neutrons and gamma rays from the cores fly out in straight lines and no longer reflect back into the passengers). So all you have to do is get Orion to about 90,000 feet or so, and we already know how to do that using turbofan engines. And the use of the nuclear engines would completely transform the economics of the Orion shuttle.

A useful rule of thumb is that it'll cost you about $2,000 per pound to get yourself into orbit using an expendable booster like the Delta or Ariane. The Saturn V was cheaper, about $900 per pound, partially because those were 1970 dollars and partially because the Saturn V lifted so goddamned much the economics of scale came into play. The American Space Shuttle was about $7,000 per pound, which is pretty pricey. But suppose I fly from here to London on the Concorde (which no longer flies, but we'll pretend it does). The total bill is about $10 per pound, and it's even less for subsonic airliners like the 777 (the last time I flew to England, the bill came out to about $2.50 per pound, not including my luggage).

I read somewhere that a shuttle employing jet engines to take off and nuclear engines to reach orbit would cost the user about $14 per pound. Let's say that's wildly optimistic and the real cost is double that. Say, $28 per pound. And someone has to pay for all that orbital infrastructure. Let's say it costs $50 per pound, once you add everything up. An Orion shuttle, using mixed turbofan and nuclear propulsion, would still be 40 times cheaper than a Delta, and about 140 times cheaper than an American Space Shuttle.

In other words, a nuclear shuttle would operate on airliner economics, not rocket economics, cheap enough that I'd probably do it just to say I'd done it.

(Here we are combining, of course, the efficiency of nuclear rocket engines with the efficiency of jet engines. Modern jet engines are so efficient they're almost embarrassing to rocket engineers. Specific impulse is kind of meaningless for jet engines since they ingest air from the environment as reaction mass and oxidizer, but their specific impulses are in the vicinity of 15,000, which gives you an idea of how good they are. Jet engines aren't perfect, though. They suffer from thermal problems at high speed, and at high altitudes they just flat run out of air. But if you let jet engines do what they do best, and then at high altitude and high speed hand over to nuclear engines and let them do what they do best, well, you're in bidness, as they say.)


So why not? Why aren't we using Saturn Vs (or derivatives thereof) to boost heavy stuff into orbit and using nuclear rockets to push the heavy stuff around? Why aren't there shuttles that combine the efficiencies of jet engines and nuclear rockets? Why aren't there footprints on Mars? Why isn't there a moon base, or multiple moon bases, or an actual goldurn city on the moon? Why aren't there radio telescopes on the far side of the moon, and helium-3 mines on the moon, and people extracting water from permafrost on Mars?

Part of it is ignorance. If even engineers in the aerospace biz think that nuclear rocket tests in the 1960s were a fiasco, what must the layperson think of them? Part of it is apathy. Even in the 1970s most people didn't give a rat's ass for space exploration any more, and they probably only got interested in it in a "let's beat the Commies" sort of way in the first place. Part of it is that nobody seems to care much about anything at all any more, other than jailbreaking their iPhones and finding cool apps and watching Lady Gaga videos on the train. Part of it is a failure of education. I don't think schools do a good job of preparing people to think about space exploration, and as a result we as a people don't realize that in the 1960s we had in our grasp two keys to doing serious work in space, the Saturn V and the nuclear rocket.

Part of it is an anti-nuclear backlash. The word "nuclear" came to mean "evil" by definition, and I can sort of understand that. You say the world "nuclear" to the average person on the street, and they're liable to think "Three Mile Island" and "thermonuclear war", not "a specific impulse of 1,000" and "vastly improved capability in space". Nuclear rockets aren't nuclear weapons, but they're still nuclear reactors, and they aren't toys and they have certain rather serious risks, and I'd be the last person to say that the risks of operating things like nuclear-thermal rocket engines and SNAP reactors in space should be ignored (even I, a proponent of nuclear propulsion, view photographs of the NERVA engine tests with misgivings, and my toes curl when I see the plumes of hot hydrogen and radioactive junk spewing out of the NERVA engine test rigs and into the open atmosphere. By way of vast digression, our family lived for many years in Flagstaff, Arizona, which was more or less downwind of the nuclear test facilities in Nevada. When my dad died, the US government paid us a not inconsiderable sum of money because it was plausible that his cancer may - I emphasize may - have been caused by fallout from nuclear tests in Nevada. My cancer, however, isn't on that government list, as there is no reliable statistical link between Hodgkin's Lymphoma and nuclear tests).

The Vietnam War played into it too. That war cost a fortune, and it's even worse now, what with unending wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. The Vietnam War's voracious appetite for funding was arguably the final straw that caused the Nixon Administration to shut down the Saturn production line and terminate the NERVA nuclear rocket program.

People of good conscience make the argument that space exploration isn't worth the cost, given the scale of problems we already have on Earth. Wouldn't the $1.5 billion we spent on the NERVA program have been better used finding a cure for cancer, or improving public transportation, or taking care of people with serious mental illnesses? I can understand those arguments. I don't necessarily agree with them, but I can at least understand them. My main counterarguments to them are A) it's difficult to say what sorts of world-changing spinoffs a large space program might have produced, and B) money taken from NASA was never redirected into programs designed to fight cancer or end childhood hunger anyway; for all practical purposes it just vanished, and a lot of it just vanished into the ever-hungry maw of the Vietnam War. If you want to defund something in order to pay for things like fighting cancer or educating children or ending mental illness, wouldn't it have made more sense to defund the Vietnam War, whose yearly budget vastly, vastly, exceeded NASA's paltry $5 billion?

But as I said, I can at least understand arguments against the space program on the grounds of fiscal conservatism, or social progress, or cost-versus-benefit calculations. The arguments I have difficulty wrapping my mind around are the ones based on ignorance and anti-intellectualism, which are unfortunately pretty common in America too.

That's a subject for a different day.

My point is that as a kid in the 1960s, it was easy for me to imagine a future that included the following:

* Saturn V heavy-lift boosters remaining in production and carrying big payloads into low Earth orbit at reasonable cost and with minimal risk to the planet.

* NERVA-style nuclear-thermal rockets moving those payloads around the Solar System on a scale and with a speed and efficiency that no chemical rocket could ever hope to match.

* A jet-nuclear shuttle like Orion providing cheap and reliable access to space for ordinary people, on an economic scale more akin to airline operations than rocket operations.

* A whole infrastructure springing up in space, not necessarily because some bureaucrat in Washington said so, but because they made economic or scientific sense. Space stations, mines, bases, exploration camps, telescopes, particle accelerators, factories...

* All of this leading in the end to the ultimate in cheap and reliable access to space, a space elevator as described by Arthur C. Clarke. It wouldn't happen in my lifetime, but it would happen, because once you had the nuclear rockets to do the work with, the idea of fetching hither a suitably large rock to serve as an anchor for the far end of the space elevator stops being impossible and merely becomes difficult.


Goodness. That got long and tedious, didn't it?



Thursday, March 17, 2011

CE3K

I got home from work last night in kind of a funky mood. Software tests hadn't gone particularly well, my new shoes had made my feet sore and unhappy, and the apocalyptic rumor-mongering of co-workers had sapped my will to live. So I laid down and turned on the TV, and started watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind, a movie that I haven't seen in ages.

What a relief. It took me back to a time when the world was young (well, when Richard Dreyfuss was young, anyway), aliens were enigmatic but benign, and one could say "Jeez, Melinda Dillon is cute" without some yahoo accusing one of having a mid-life crisis or lecturing one on the moral delinquency of single mothers (calm down, guys, maybe dad is at a tractor exposition in Decatur).

I wish aliens really were visiting us. I for one would like to know that there is other intelligent life out there in the universe. I'm not sure it would make any practical difference in my daily affairs, but I'd still feel better knowing that. And yes, I'm one of those eggheads who believes that alien race capable of efficient interstellar spaceflight would be peaceful and benign. Why? Because that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh, uh huh. But unfortunately, the Sagan Doctrine still holds, which is that extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof, and thus far, I haven't seen any.

But a note to potential alien visitors: if you do drop by, don't land in the pasture in the middle of the night wearing Halloween masks, and don't enter my house by oozing through the crack at the bottom of the door. Land in the middle of the day, and ring the doorbell like any respectful visitor. Thank you for your cooperation.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Bull!

Guilherme Marchi

We went to the Professional Bull Riders "Glendale Invitational" last night. I enjoy bull riding, even though I don't seem to have much in common with the bull riders themselves or the vast majority of bull riding fans. And the PBR itself is changing in ways that I'm not exactly in favor of. But I still enjoy the events, even if I sometimes feel a certain amused skepticism about the whole thing.

The first part of all the PBR events I've been to are really patriotic pep rallies - last night's event featured a film about the US Air Force and the swearing-in of a bunch of new recruits, and the combination of loud music, pyrotechnics, and promiscuous brandishing of patriotic symbols seems to make the crowd feel better about things. "Yeah, maybe the invasion of Iraq was a costly mistake, and maybe we can't find Osama bin Laden, and maybe the devastating firepower of the US military doesn't translate into anything meaningful in a confusing and complex world, but DAMN I feel better!"

Then, after enough beers have been consumed, the atmosphere changes from one of patriotic fervor to plain old likkered-up hooting, which I find easier to roll with. I was born in Flagstaff Arizona, and I grew up in rural parts of the state, and beer-fueled rural shenanigans are part of my cultural heritage. I don't personally indulge in beer-fueled rural shenanigans and I'm more likely to spend my time splitting infinitives than spitting tabakky juice, but at least I'm familiar with rural shenanigans.

I don't really have any favorites in the PBR. There are certain riders whose intellectual and philosophical outlooks irk me, and I tend to root for the bulls when they're in the chutes. And I do have a sort of soft spot for Guilherme Marchi, who seems impossibly decent, and for Dustin Elliot, who has an actual sense of humor.

The PBR started out as a kind of foreshortened rodeo. Someone realized that the most popular events at any given rodeo were the so-called "rough stock" events, and that the bull riding was the most popular of the rough stock events. So they pared away all the other rodeo stuff - the team roping, the barrel racing, the steer wrestling - and kept just the bull riding. But up until a few years ago, it was possible to squint at the PBR and still see it as a rodeo. It wasn't the PRCA, but it sort of looked like the PRCA.

But now it seems that the PBR is trying to sever all of its old cultural links with the world of rodeo. They're trying to turn it into an Xtreme Sport, or perhaps a variant of NASCAR, leading to an ever-widening gap betwee PBR fans on the one hand, and old-guard fans of the PRCA on the other. Since television revenue is the manna that fuels pretty much everything in America, the PBR is destined to prevail over the PRCA on the basis of better television deals.

Is that good? I don't know. And the PBR is visibly struggling with certain inherent problems, such as the fact that from the perspective of TV sports in general, most bull riders aren't very telegenic. Americans seem to enjoy their sports heroes most when they're bold, brassy, even flagrantly narcissistic. But a great many bull riders don't seem capable of striking the kind of elitist, arrogant stance that seems to come so naturally to the NFL and which Americans seem to demand. Especially the old guard, the riders who would probably claim that they live by the "Code of the West", one of whose stipulations is that One Does Not Talk Much About One's Self (the actual stipulation is "One Does Not Talk Much". The rest follows logically). So for the PBR to really penetrate the mainstream sports market, they're going to have to find (or create) mainstream-looking sports heroes, or at least ones that don't live by the Code of the West and are willing to be arrogant on-camera. And I think that'll be a depressing day, myself.

Another problem the PBR has to deal with is the considerable success of Brazilian riders. On the one hand, the PBR likes to advance them as ideals - they're men who came from meager circumstances and became successes by dint of toughness and hard work, the American Dream incarnate. On the other hand, not all PBR fans are comfortable with the success of foreign riders and see it is a kind of sell-out to political correctness, as though bull riding is somehow a uniquely American undertaking and these Brazilian riders are about as welcome as Juan Pablo Montoya was in NASCAR. So they have to figure out how they're going to spin that.

And the PBR (and the rodeo world from which is sprang) has to come to grips with women competitors someday. Rodeos are very much a male enclave, but rodeo fans tell themselves they're being inclusive by having barrel racing, which is a "girl's event". But I think that's kind of odious. If boys want to barrel race, why not? And if girls want to ride bulls, why not? The problem of women competitors isn't unique to the PBR, but there are certain facts about the sport that make it a bigger problem in the PBR than in, say, the NFL. In the NFL, it's fairly easy to see why there aren't many woman in the game, simply because there aren't many 6-foot-6 350-pound women defensive tackles in the world. The sheer size and strength of the average NFL player makes it difficult for women to compete.

But this isn't the case in bull riding. One of the PBR's founding members, Ty Murray, is often quoted saying that bull riding isn't a matter of strength, but of balance and timing. In fact, he's on record saying that size is actually a detriment; that it's the smaller cowboys who are best suited for the sport. Well then, since size is a detriment, and strength isn't an issue, what does the PBR propose to do with women, considering that there are probably a lot of girls who could ride bulls effectively if they chose to do so? (Hell, there are probably a lot of girls who could beat up Brian Canter is a bar fight, if you want to get right down to it.)


I didn't mean to go so far afield. But I often do.




Frustrating

The news frustrates me. I check various news websites to try to find out what's going on with the nuclear reactors in Japan, and perhaps to learn why the cooling systems failed in the wake of the earthquake, and what do I find?

Seventeen bazillion links to gosh-wow videos of Japanese buildings, boats, and people being annihilated by a tsunami, videos that I really don't want to watch at all.

Thirteen bazillion links to stories about Charlie Sheen, stories that I really don't want to read at all.

I'm not arguing that links to tsunami videos or stories about Charlie Sheen should be banned, though there's a hint of schadenfreude in them that I find unappealing ("Wow, that Charlie is such a doofus; I feel much better about myself now!"). But is it too much to ask that somewhere in this glut of news we find something serious about the nuclear reactors?


I'm rethinking my position on nuclear power. I think I'm still for it generally, because I think the main alternative, widespread burning of coal, is even more unpalatable. But multiple cooling system failures in the wake of an earthquake suggest that somebody overlooked something. Maybe engineers can't anticipate everything that could fail during a very powerful earthquake, but maybe they should have anticipated their inability to anticipate and not built nuclear reactors in a geologically active area in the first place.

I'm just guessing, but I suspect that one of the issues at work here is that when you bring a reactor from normal operation to shut-down quickly, the reactor core can't cool itself by convective flow if the cooling system pumps fail. The only way to keep the cooling water from flashing into steam is to pressurize it, and the hotter it gets, the more it has to be pressurized to keep it from boiling. So at some point either a weld will fail, the pressure relief valves will open, or the water will boil, which even assuming there's any convective flow in the core to begin with will "steam-lock" the core and shut down whatever convective flow there happens to be.

Though the precise nature of the nuclear reactors in ships are classified, I believe them to employ liquid metal (such as sodium) as a primary coolant, so they don't have the immediate problem of steam formation vapor-locking convective flow. Of course, there still has to be a secondary coolant to remove heat from the "far side" of the liquid metal primary loop, which in a submarine is probably pretty easy, considering that it's surrounded by cold seawater all the time anyway. But if a land-based liquid-metal reactor had the far side of the liquid metal loop in a large pond, you'd think the pond could sink enough heat to keep the reactor from melting down for quite some time even in the complete absence of pumps.

I may be missing something, because I'm not a nuclear engineer. And it's easy to imagine a sufficiently powerful earthquake breaking the pipes that carry the molten sodium, which may be a worse outcome than the formation of steam in a pressurized-water system. Or the earthquake could cause the pond to drain. Or who knows what.

So maybe the real answer is not to build them near subduction zones in the first place. But then countries like Japan, which are pretty much one giant subduction zone, couldn't have nuclear reactors at all, unless some country with more geologically stable regions (such as China or Russia) agreed to host the Japanese nuclear reactors, which is a little hard to accept. Or maybe nuclear reactors shouldn't be operated for profit and shouldn't be considered national assets at all - maybe since a major nuclear accident would be a global problem, the ownership and operation of nuclear reactors would be globalized as well, with some supra-national agency building them in safe areas and operating them for the benefit of all.

Like that'll ever happen.

(And, parenthetically, exactly what does a "geologically safe area" really mean? When is a fault system really dead, and when it is merely biding its time? Earthquakes still happen even on mid-plate fault systems like the New Madrid system, and maybe there really is no such thing as a geologically safe area. What then? I don't know. Fusion reactors sound like a pretty good alternative to me, except for one minor inconvenience - they don't exist yet.)

But I still believe that given our appetite for energy and our inability to generate meaningful quantities of energy by means of fusion, we're more or less stuck with fission reactors. I wish it were otherwise, but it isn't.


Thursday, March 03, 2011

Cults

I've often considered starting my own cult. I'm not much of a joiner by nature and I'm not sure I'd want to join any pre-existing cults not of my own making, but I think it might be fun to form my own cult. And if not a cult, then at least a secret society that meets every so often in some manor house in the English countryside where we park ourselves in leather chairs in an enormous library, sip brandy, and exchange wry witticisms about Erasmus and Samuel Pepys.

But to form a cult or a secret society, I think I need to figure out what my objective is first. The real objective, of course, is to get a whole bunch of people to give me their money so I don't have to work any more, but I can't just come out and say that. Instead I'm going to have to invent some mumbo-jumbo to the effect that your Lexus is an affront to a Well-Ordered Universe and that I'm the only one who can dispose of said Lexus. There is doubtless a whole list of things that are an affront to a Well-Ordered Universe - cars, Cartier watches, Waterford crystal, bills in denominations larger than $20 US, Wingnut Wings 1/32nd scale model airplanes, Babe Ruth baseball cards, diamonds the size of almonds...

Maybe I should start small and aim to create a cult where the act of going to get me a cup of coffee earns initiates big spiritual brownie points. You there! Don't you know that the path to enlightenment passes right by the coffee maker? What are you doing standing around then? Get me a cup of coffee, and while you're at it, grab my Kindle!

Any takers? No? I didn't think so.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Bloggus Interruptus

I haven't written anything in about a month, which is pretty unusual for me. I could cite a litany of reasons for my odd silence - a personal crisis, a tiger in the bathroom, UFO abduction. But mostly I've just been busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. At work two major programs are coming to fruition at the same time, and though I'm formally assigned to only one of them, as a practical matter I end up working on both of them. I don't mind. They're interesting projects. But as both programs reach final culmination, there's a lot of work to get done in a great screaming hurry - a couple of days ago I worked a 24-hour shift, went home and slept for about four hours, and went back for more. I'm not bragging, but I am pointing out that that's a lot of work and I don't always feel like writing anything when I finally get home.

All work and no play makes me a dull - and quiet - boy.

But somewhere along the line I managed to get in a trip to the oncologist, and I'm still clean. I'll have another PET scan in about six weeks, and it'll be decades before I start to take them for granted, but for now, I derive a certain perverse pleasure from being healthy enough and feeling good enough to actually do 24-hour shifts.

At one point one of my co-workers, in the very wee hours of the morning, groused about how bad it sucked. All I could say was "I've been through way worse things than this."

Friday, January 28, 2011

Anniversary


It's been almost exactly one year since I got out of the hospital after my tandem bone marrow transplant. The tandem bone marrow transplant didn't quite kill my cancer, but subsequent radiation treatments apparently got the job done - at least for now, and these days I don't look any farther ahead than my next PET scan.

This was my hospital room. Note the potato chips, which I couldn't bear to eat, and the pile of model magazines. The red octagon stuck to the wall identified me as a "fall risk", and it's there because somewhere on the lower left side of the mural painted on the wall is a smooth hemispherical dent I made in the wall with my head when I passed out. (One of my chemo drugs caused my blood pressure to hover somewhere around 90 over 50, and that was while I was lying down. Once I stood up to use the facilities - I find those jug-like "urinals" undignified - and passed out cold on my feet and bounced my head off the wall on the way down.)

I don't dwell on it too much these days, because I really do feel frightfully good and I prefer not to waste too much of my time and energy on cancer or its treatments. But it did seem suitable to at least make a passing reference to this particular anniversary.

I did a lot of writing on the laptop, visible beneath the purplish vomit bucket, but none of it was very good. Chemo has a lot of weird and unpleasant side effects, but the most unpleasant side effect, to me anyway, was the way it destroyed my ability to read and write. I could read individual words and know what they meant, and I could type lots of words and know what they meant, but I couldn't assemble words into any kind of context. I was unable to extract any meaning from anything I read, nor could I express myself in writing, even though I knew perfectly well what each individual word meant.

All told, I spent about a quarter of a million dollars out of my own pocket fighting cancer. I don't regret spending the money - it was either that or die, and I wasn't too keen on the dying part. But now that the memory of cancer is fading, I find myself saying things like "Well, gee whiz, how come I can never afford to go on cruises like all my friends?" And then I remember why.*

But I'm not complaining. It turns out that just being alive is pretty cool.

*If you're wondering, no, my employer didn't provide health insurance, and the health insurance I bought privately turned out to actually cover next to nothing, and I made too much money to qualify for any kind of government assistance or charitable grants. For a while I couldn't get insurance at all, but now one of the provisions of the "Obamacare" that people screech about allows me to get insurance despite my pre-existing condition.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

SF Philosophies

I enjoy having philosophical discussions with friends about science fiction. Well, not science fiction generally; it's more along the lines of Star Trek versus Star Wars, which the SF elite might well regard as the equivalent of debating the differences between lunch meat and hot dogs - same crappy stuff, just in a different forms.

My friends are mostly Star Wars fans, and they assault me endlessly (but in a good-natured way) about the alleged "socialism" in Star Trek. In Star Trek, nobody seems to be motivated by greed or tries to get rich (well, the villains sometimes do, but not the Federation personnel themselves). This is taken to be proof of some kind of shambling socialist conformity in action - "It's like the USSR and the UN rolled together" is one comment I hear fairly often.

But I think that's a pretty fundamental error. The point of Star Trek is that certain enabling technologies (specifically, more or less free energy and replicators) have completely transformed societies and economics to the point that labels like "capitalist" or "socialist" don't apply at all. Star Trek isn't a socialist nightmare; it's a libertarian dream. When you no longer have to sell your labor to sustain yourself, you're free to do whatever you want, and the real value lies in the act of creation, not the act of production.

I suppose greed still exists in Star Trek, but when the replicator can give you practically any material good you could ever want, I'm not sure what the point of greed would be. It isn't that everyone has the same amount of stuff; it's that everyone can have everything, so in the end "mere stuff" no longer matters. What matters is the mind, the act of creating something new.

You want a gold goblet to drink Romulan ale out of? You presumably tell the replicator what you want, it it synthesizes it on the spot. But the replicator can't synthesize new works of art, new scientific discoveries, new technical approaches, new theories, new music. It can only reproduce what has already been made. So the value, the point, lies in creating, not having. The mind becomes the defining quality of a person - you're important not for what you have, or what you can produce in a material sense, but for what you know, what you can figure out, what you can create. I like that.

"I wouldn't want to live in that system," my friends say. "There'd be no ambition, no drive, no spiritus, no reason to strive; it'd be nothing but a bunch of couch potatoes eating bon-bons from the replicator and watching crap on what passes for TV in the future."

And I admit that the possibility exists that within the Federation, a large segment of the population sits around eating junk out of the replicator and doing nothing. But maybe they eventually get bored with doing nothing and decide to create something new. Or maybe the ambition to amass material possessions has been transformed into the ambition to be recognized as the most surpassingly important mind in whatever field of endeavor interests you. Maybe you like to design phasers. And maybe being recognized as the best phaser designer in known space is what gets you out of bed in the morning.

"But that just leads to a society of snobby intellectual elites!"

I'd rather have a society of snobby intellectual elites than a society of snobby materialistic elites, but I guess that's the difference between me and them. Though it does amuse that whenever a "noted scientist" is the episode's antagonist, he (usually it's a he, but not always) is almost always a complete asshole - they may celebrate the mind, but nobody likes a smug scientist.

Not that I have anything against Star Wars. They're fun movies (most of them, anyway), and the pulp fiction starkness of the black-versus-white moral issue allows one to watch the movies without being assaulted by moral ambiguities. But there aspects of the underpinnings of Star Wars that don't resonate with me very much. Royalty, for one. I don't have any problem with ceremonial heads of state, even hereditary ceremonial heads of state, in the manner of the United Kingdom. But I'm not too keen on the idea of someone being entitled to power and privilege simply by virtue of birth - I'd want to know what their qualifications for being in control of my life happen to be, and I don't accept "Because my daddy was king" as good enough.

There are, it must be admitted, certain things about Star Trek that rub me the wrong way. The show sometimes descends to almost hysterical moralizing. One of the episodes in Next Generation that particularly galled me was the one where they found the disconnected Borg, named him Hugh, and contemplated using him as a means of introducing a computer virus into the Borg collective that would essentially eliminate them. But no, Doctor Crusher goes off on some great crusade about how they can't just arbitrarily wipe out an entire species, using the "we'd be no better than them if it we did" argument. Does that mean that when a man destroys a nest of wasps on his doorstep that he's no better than the wasps? Maybe so - but it beats being stung every time you go out to check the mail.

What's next? We can't throw away rotten food because even rotten food has a right to be eaten? I don't think so. At some point people have to think about the matter and decide that it's either us or the Borg, period, and all the hand-wringing won't slow the Borg down by so much as a millisecond when they come to assimilate Earth. Starfleet Medical wouldn't hesitate to wipe out a dangerous virus that causes some serious disease, after all.

But what the heck. It's all in fun, and it isn't like it's really important, like whether I should have a salad or a sandwich for lunch.

Speaking of which...