Put The Hammer To It

Who here remembers Tom Schoendienst, a Phoenix-area TV sportscaster back in the 1970s who used to come on the Friday news and give the results of all the local high school football games? This was back before fancy graphics and remote locations were common in local news, so mostly it was a matter of the somewhat spooky-looking Schoendienst reading results. Not scores, just results. The scores were shown on-screen; all he did was say who beat who. And he'd try to spice it up a little in a primitive and unsuccessful stab at what would later come to be known as the ESPN style. His favorite was "put the hammer to". McClintock put the hammer to St. Mary's, St. Mary's put the hammer to Peoria, Peoria put the hammer to Velveeta Vocational, Velveeta Vocational put the hammer to some amoebae found in a puddle outside the Reflective Cheese Performin' Arts and Fondue Center.

I was sitting here at about 5:30 AM with my nose in a cup of coffee, bleating softly and trying to determine how many Tylenol I should take, when I suddenly heard the ghostly voice of Tom Schoendienst saying "These nine-and-a-half-hour days are putting the hammer to him."

Boy howdy.