The Blame List

I was driving home tonight and somehow started thinking about all the various groups - not individuals, but groups - that I've heard the right wing blame for the current state of world affairs. So I started listing them in my head, and presently realized that I couldn't keep track of that many blameworthy groups without some sort of visual aid.

So here's my visual aid.

Lessee. I've heard them blame Hollywood elites, liberal elites, and intellectual elites. They hate elites, I guess, unless they're financial elites. Homosexuals, it goes without saying! Tree-hugging environmentalists (I presume because they get in a way of the orderly amassment of large sums of money by the financial elites). PETA, though I'm with them on that one. The ACLU, which seems to combine several subsets of blame in one - lawyers and - though they never come out and say so in as many words, but let's just say that I don't think anti-Semitism is as dead as they say - Jews. Public schools, those hotbeds of political correctness. Political Correctness. Eggheaded college professors. The Media. Movies. Pop music. Swivelling hips (if not Elvis's, then someone else's). The French! (remember "Liberty Fries"? Ugh.) The British! The Belgians! The Iraqis! Iran! North Korea! Wall Street. Actors. Writers. More homosexuals. Probably transvestites, but I wouldn't know. Muslims, of course. Zoroastrians too, if they knew there were still Zoroastrians in the world. Towel-heads. Imported cars. The United Nations. NATO. Bill Clinton. Oh, I wasn't supposed to list individuals. A C T I V I S T J U D G E S. Blackwater, when convenient. Sex, great masses of oily lubricious sex. Video games. Teenagers. Gen-Xers. "Hooligans". Loofahs - sorry, I couldn't resist. Dang uppity feminists. The NAACP. Government watchdog groups. The Constitution, that "goddamned piece of paper." Religious leaders who don't establish mega-churches in Texas or Colorado Springs. Athiests! Darwinists! Scientists! Rationalists! And those right proper bastards, secular humanists!!! Formula-One car racing. Foreigners. Mexicans. Illegal immigrants. VENEZUELA! Uppity human rights attorneys. The Clean Air Act. The Clean Water Act. The fact that there isn't a Cleaning Out Your Pocket Act, but that doesn't stop them from trying. Doctors. Liability lawyers. Handicapped people - why, it costs money to put in ramps; why don't they stay home and eat TV dinners like they used to?? Conservation groups. People who have the gall to ask their own questions without being carefully coached by political handlers (and here, Hillary Clinton loses big juju with me - you claim to be such an upright and honest breath of fresh air, but there you are running a play right out of the Karl Rove playbook. Have you no shame at all?) HMOs. HBO. The First Amendment. Flag-burners! Pot-smokers. The Politburo. The CPUSA. Manhattan intellectuals! Sports figures who prove to be crappy role models.

Anyway, that's quite a list. I'm sure there are more people to blame, but I find it ironic that the one group of people who will NEVER end up on this list are the right-wingers themselves (except to the extent that they can blame it all on them uppity neo-cons).