Democratic Bobbleheads

I wasn't in Michael Mukasey's hearing, so I really can't offer any opinion on how he stacks up compared to the unlamented Alberto Gonzalez, or how sound his professional qualifications are, or for that matter where he stands on the character-o-meter. But I can say I wasn't awfully surprised that he tap-danced around the question of whether waterboarding is torture or not, considering who nominated him, and I bet he wastes no time at all in studying the matter and deciding - hey presto! - that waterboarding isn't torture and thus isn't unconstitutional.

And now I see that Shumer and Feinstein are signed up to vote for him, even though Patrick Leahy himself declined to board the Waterboarding Express. Isn't that nice? We elect a majority of Democrats in Congress hoping for change, and the only change we get is the names on the office doors. Everything else remains status quo. The next time the Democratic Party calls me and asks for a donation, I'm going to suggest that they go pound sand because as far as I'm concerned they've wasted every vote and every cent I've given them.

But back to what I was talking about. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, waterboarding. Is it torture, or is it not? Let's discuss what waterboarding is first. In its most basic form, it amounts to pouring water on a person's face which for some reason seems to very readily invoke terror of drowning. In its more advanced version (one might say "institutional waterboarding" as opposed to "field waterboarding") the prisoner is strapped to a heavy inclined board, with his feet higher than his head. His face is covered with a cloth or a piece of cellophane, and water is poured over his face. Somehow this triggers terror of death in almost everyone - it is said that the average person will break under 14 seconds of waterboarding and that resisting for more than a minute or two requires almost superhuman willpower.

Is this torture? By the carefully honed and very exclusive definition offered by the Bush Administration, no, it isn't torture. But to anyone who lives in the real world, it is torture, absolutely. Maybe not physical torture, but psychological torture of the highest rank. It actually strikes me as being a form of mock execution, and I believe mock executions have already been defined as torture. I know I sure as Shinola wouldn't want to be waterboarded, and I wouldn't want anyone waterboarded in my name either. Even John McCain believes waterboarding is torture, and as he has first-hand experience in such matters, I'll accept his word without question.

But don't ask the Democrats in Congress, who as a group are slowly turning into a bunch of Bobble-heads who simply nod assent to anything the Bush Administration says. Hey, you bozos, the reason we elected you is because we became uneasy with the growth of Executive power and privilege, and what exactly have you done about it? What's the word? Squat? Yep, that's the word.

So now you're going to go off and vote to recommend confirmation of Mukasey even though he won't offer you a hard opinion on whether waterboarding is torture or not. I hope you guys still respect yourselves in the morning, because I sure as hell won't.