I feel awful tonight. I'm trying to find a way to blame it on Sam's Club, but I don't think that would be fair. I should know better than to accidentally turn down the candy aisle. I should know better than to put myself in a position where I'm surrounded by huge boxes of Skittles and Mars Bars and Snicki and M&Ms. I escaped the candy aisle without buying anything, but there is so much sugar compressed into such a small area on that aisle my blood sugar goes completely haywire just from the sugar radiation.
I watched 28 Weeks Later last night. I made the interesting discovery that the movie is really no worse, and maybe even better, with the sound turned off. It's plenty gory, with each gunshot producing a nearly Plinian eruption of blood, which I don't actually think is realistic, but hey, if I know so much about gunshots, how about I make my own movie, huh? It would be fun. I bet I could write a halfway decent zombie epic, but I also bet that I'd have very little chance of getting Mila Jovovich to star in it. She's the only reason I watched (and continue to watch) the Resident Evil movies, which paranthetically feel an awful lot like 28 Weeks Later. How juicily circular. And heck, I had a part as a Russian lieutenant in someone's grad school movie project; I'm practically a Hollywood insider.
But I have to say, the bars for zombie and vampire movies seem awfully high. Even psychopath movies; I doubt I could create anything half as creepy as Wolf Creek. So maybe I need to pioneer a whole new genre of horror fiction and movies. Perhaps something about a group of people who are people by night and platypuses by day. By day they're drawn to bodies of water where they search restlessly for small fish, crustaceans and shellfish. By night they drink a lot of booze, wear scanty swimsuits, and have lots of sex, just like the opening scenes of Turista and The Ruin. And the horror angle is that they don't know that they turn into platypuses, so they blame the fish skeletons littering the floors of their apartments on their neighbors.
Ya think??
Is That All?
11 years ago
1 comment:
AS YOU KNOW, WILLIAM, I AM A FANATIC FOR KING'S WORKS.
ALSO, I SIMPLY LOVE BEING SCARED HALF TO DEATH WATCHING WELL-DONE HORROW MOVIES. SOME OF MY MANY FAVORITES ARE THE 0RGINAL
HALLOWEEN FROM 1978. OTHERS INCLUDE
THE EXORCIST THE DAMIEM MOVIES, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJEFT JUST TO NAME A FEW. YOUR REVIEW OF 28 WEEKS LATER PIQUED MY INTEREST. I SAW THE 1ST & IT HAD S0ME VERY SCARY MOMEMTS. KINDA REMINDED ME OF I AM LEGEND STARRING WILL SMITH. LET ME KNOW IF YOU RUN ACROSS SOME MORE WELL-WRITTEN HORROR STORIES. IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, READ ALL OF LOVECRAFT. THE EARLIER WORKS OF ANN RICE (START WITH THE WITCHING HOUR} EARLY WORKS OF
(H3 WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED BY YOURDERATORL OU=======SWAN SONG
(kIND OF DATED BUT IT'S AN EPIC THA DEAPL W/THE END OF THE WORID THE CHAOS AND SUBSEQUENT AFTERMATH.
IF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH PETER STRAUB TRY ADING THE FOLLOWING 9NOT NECESSARILY IN THIS ORDER: kOKO, IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW, &
GHOST STORY.
AT LEAST IN MY HUMBLE OPINI0N.
GUARANTEED TO KEEP YOUR NIGHT LIGT ON WST NIGHT OR MAYBE A LOADED SHOTGUN UNDER YOUR BED (NOT THST IT'D DO ANY GOOD)!
IF YOU want the author who wrote
GH9ST
STORY OR HETTER YET, IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW, EMAIL ME AT jayehnc@aol.com.
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