Two contestants in the "Cheesiest Game Cover of All Time" contest, at least as far as I'm concerned. I don't know which is really worse, the guy with the six-foot-wide helmet gripping the green-clad hostage one-handed and firing at the aquarium-head mantises with the other hand, or the dreadful strutting adventurer on the cover of Universe. Is he wearing a shirt? I can't tell. It looks like he's shirtless and wearing corduroy trousers, which I think would tend to give his position away, what with all that zip-zip-zip when he runs. And what are those amorphous greyish bipeds in the lower right? Rejects from the Tron animation team?
But one shouldn't judge a game by its cover. Rescue from the Hive is simple and kind of dorky, but reasonably fun - it's better than Worldkiller, which isn't saying much, and better than The Return of the Stainless Steel Rat, which now that I think about it isn't saying much either. Let me put it this way, if someone gave me a choice between eating asparagus or playing Rescue from the Hive, I'd go with the latter. And Universe is simply way better than its cover art would suggest.
I think the worst game cover art I've ever seen is Panzer Command by Victory Games. Just glancing askance at that jut-jawed, steely-eyed Nazi caricature unsettles me. I'd post it here, but it's so atrocious I don't want to look at it. It's horrid, but even worse, it's predictable, which makes it even more horrid.
No comments:
Post a Comment