Week Off

I'm in the midst of a week off from work. Unpaid, mind you, but still, a week off. And what have I accomplished? Nothing. But I have come to terms with the fact that I haven't accomplished anything.

I'm not a fountain of deep wisdom about much of anything. Oh, I've learned a few things over the years, but they aren't really "wisdom" in the spiritual sense. To give you an example of what sorts of things I've learned, here's a brief list:

1. Don't set steel wool on fire. It burns way better than you think it does.

2. Don't thin Ceramcoat paint with rubbing alcohol unless phlegm is the desired outcome.

3. When making a model of the planet Mars, remember that pi is 3.1415, not "about 3".

But I actually have learned a few things that might be more useful.

One is that people are way too judgmental about things that don't matter, and way too prone to applying the word hate to the fruits of their judgment. It's gotten to the point you can't even have a conversation with someone about the relative merits of Macintosh or PC computers without it turning into a hateful grudge match, or politely disagree with someone about politics without it turning nasty.

I'm not arguing that we should all practice bland acceptance of everything. If someone commits a horrible violent crime, they deserve to be judged, and certain things, like the Nazi Party, are so heinous they really deserve to be hated.

But cancer did teach me that I have only so much spiritual energy to go around, and I can either expend it hating things that really don't deserve to be hated, or I can expend it in more amusing pursuits.

Not that I think I'm better than anyone else. If hating LeBron James or hating Justin Boober (neither of whom I like at all) gets you through the day, go for it. Part of being nonjudgmental is not judging people who are judgmental. But for me, personally, I'd rather spend my time and energy thinking about things that I enjoy, not endlessly prodding my Inner Wound and nursing a deep grudge against life.

The other thing I learned is that in the long run, it really doesn't matter very much if you accomplished everything on your to-do list or not. Will the universe really be any different if I wash out the pool filters today instead of tomorrow? I don't think so. And when you're in the hospital getting ready for the next round of lethal chemotherapy, the fact that you're a week overdue on washing the drapes won't even cross your mind.

Granted, there are things that have to be done on time. You have to pay the mortgage on time, or unpleasantness ensues. But other than that, what difference does it make?

There are certain personalities that enjoy crammed to-do lists, and it's possible for one to become too lax and never do anything. But consider this week. Does it matter if I replace the water filter in the refrigerator today, or tomorrow? Not really. And I'm not going to beat myself up because I haven't checked off a bunch of stuff on my to-do list.

Here's what I have done this week: I found the long-lost instructions and decals for a Star Trek model. And that made me happy. Happier than replacing the water filter would have made me. So there.