Quick Sick Of That

I'm so sick of the news. I'm sick of all of the news, but as it happens, there are aspects of the news that I find particularly fatiguing.

The Democratic Primaries: Hillary said this, Barak said that, he's touching me, she's looking at me, Bill stole my lollipop. I swear to God if they were kids in the back of my car, I'd be giving them the "Don't make me stop this car" speech. I'm not inclined to vote for any of them, frankly, and if they don't stop acting like adolescents who've been taking in too much sugar, I won't vote for any of them.

The Stock Market: The markets shoot up, the markets shoot down, experts try to tell why I should care if it shoots up or shoots down, and it's all just a charade. For all the real difference any of it makes they might as well be playing Magic: The Gathering and the analysts could breathlessly try to explain to me why tapping a swamp so they can summon a skeleton means that currency exchange rates are out of balance.

Entertainment news: What new low can Amy Winehouse sink to? Or will Britney's new low exceed Amy's new low? I don't care. Honestly, I don't. So stop telling me.

So what's left? Filter out the election news, the stock market news, and the celebrities-circling-the-drain news, what's left? Oh yeah, sports news about increasingly unappealing sports people playing increasingly unappealing sports for the behest of increasingly unappealing corporate interests.