Sunday, February 01, 2009

Cardinalismus

The Cardinals are playing in the Super Bowl right now, and hometown patriotism insists that I watch, but I can't bear to. It has nothing to do with the Cardinals, or the Super Bowl, or this alleged "imposter syndrome" that Steeler fans insist that I should suffer from. Mostly it's because I am so intensely nauseated that watching anything that moves makes my guts roil and makes my lunch rise. It's awful. I was outside a little while ago, ostensibly searching for a tube of white glue but really just being somewhere where nothing moved, and I happened to watch a bird fly past. Just this head movement alone was enough to make me so dizzy I thought I was going to fall down.

So I came back inside and took my yeller anti-nausea pill. I think it's actually an anti-spasmodic, given to people who are prone to seizures. I like to think of it as an anti-schismatic, meaning that it'll help prevent you from forming anti-Popes and prevent you from setting up rival religious structures in Avignon. And in the process, it's not bad for nausea either.

And no, I'm not nearly as funny as I think I am.

So, Cardinals, you're on your own for now, because I can't watch TV. There are times, and this is one of them, when I get really sick of chemo. I know it's saving my life and all and I'm not ungrateful, but damn I wish I didn't always feel like an episode of some lame soap opera entitled On The Edge Of Vomit.

3 comments:

Stockyard Queen said...

Gee, I'm sorry you're suffering like this! There's nothing worse than nausea. Is the yellow pill Compazine? That's the greatest anti-nausea drug ever made, for my money, and it's about a million years old. Hope you feel better soon.

William said...

It is indeed Compazine, or at least its generic form. It's an odd species of drug - I always swear up and down that it doesn't work because I don't feel any different, but then I'm suddenly aware that I'm not nearly as nauseated before, and I think we can rule out the possibility of the Nausea Fairy visiting me. So the pill must be doing something, right?

And I'm not really suffering that badly. Compared to that first week post-chemo, this is practically Club Med. But thank you for your concern in any event!

Stockyard Queen said...

Yes, that's the blessing of Compazine, it doesn't dish any other weird side effects while it's working its magic. I'll check in from time to time.