April Madness

Now that it's April, is March Madness over with? I confess I don't know. I am so disconnected from the world of organized sports I don't know who won the Tournament or for that matter if it's still going on or not. I don't know the record of the local NBA basketball team, and if I had to name four players on the team or face a swift and certain demise, it would be wise of me to make sure my affairs were in order.

I'm not anti-sports. I just don't care about sports. I get disoriented when I watch ESPN because they assume I have some minimum level of sports knowledge, and I just don't. They might as well be talking about organic chemistry or obscure topics in Zoroastrian thought for all the sense it makes to me. Sometimes they don't even seem to be speaking English - it's as though they've developed a special language called SportsJabber.