I've Found Him!

I found him! I found him! Doktor Mengele is alive and well and doling out punishment at my local cardiac rehab facility!

Well, okay, so it's not really Doktor Mengele. It's probably his grandson, Todd Mengele.

Oh, it's not that bad; I'm just being histrionic.

But is it just me, or does the fact that my EKG unit has unspecified "technical problems" every four minutes seem suspicious to you? Lemme 'splain. I'm supposed to do some set number of minutes on each exercise machine each time I go. Most of them are pretty easy - I could do the bicycle or the Nu-Stepper pretty much all day. But treadmills and I are not on the best of terms. Whenever I'm on a treadmill I feel like I'm taking part in some strange and potentially dangerous demonstration of plate tectonics. And I'm not really fond of the monotonous crash-crash-crash of my size-14 feet coming down on the belt.

So I'm on the treadmill, and I'm about four minutes into the workout, when all of a sudden there's a hubbub at the monitoring station. "We've lost your signal," they cry, which means either that my EKG unit has quit or I have died. So I stop the treadmill and Todd Mengele comes over and fiddles with my EKG unit. "Maybe it's the wires. Maybe it's the battery. Maybe it's the sideways manipulators." Time passes, and suddenly a huzzah goes up from the monitoring station - I'm back on-line! So the guy says "Well, since you cooled down, you may as well start over and do the whole duration."

Four minutes later, it happens again.

I'm so sure, Todd.