Expressions I Have No Use For

Smokin' Hot: Are we talking about people, or barbecue sauce? Strangely, it doesn't seem nearly as irritating when it's spelled "smoking hot".

Salad Days: I think this means "Back in the days when I was young and happening", but really, what do salads have to do with it? My salad days were yesterday, when I ate a nice taco salad while watching something on TV about dinosaurs.

Grow the Business: It's possible to grow a tumor, and grow a tooth, and grow hair, but I don't think it's possible to grow the business. You might as well try to grow the park bench.

Wordsmith: Why is it that all the guys who think they're serious wordsmiths out there in Corporateland can't write their way out of a brown paper sack? You go ahead on and wordsmith, and leave the writing to people who are good at it.

Go Ahead On: I'm going to go ahead on and sneeze on your sandwich. Thag yoo.

It's All Good: No, it isn't all good. A lot of it is at best fair, and there are parts of it that frankly suck.

Surfing The Web: Oh yes, let's apply the image of a healthy outdoor activity to guys who sit in the dark all night in their underwear with Cheezit crumbs trickling down their chests as they search for smokin' hot porn sites. The best sports scam since the World Series of Poker.

Fashion-Forward: I'm not sure exactly what this means, but I bet it has something to do with "superficial".

Consumers: Hey, I vote; I insist that you call me a citizen before I go ahead on and get mad.

Faceplant: Like eggplant, only lumpier. This used to be called "falling down".

Serious Fun: Besides being a contradiction in terms, it says something about modern life when one needs serious gear, a serious attitude and serious training to have fun. Gee whiz, all I wanted to do was go swimming.

At The End Of The Day: The sun may set on the British Empire these days, but not on this slice of Imperial meaninglessness. Try "ultimately". It's short and refreshing.

Rocks: So-and-so rocks, such-and-such rocks, that rocks, this rocks, but I have rocks in my shoe.

You Go, Girl: Where? Shall I go ahead on and go? But what if I go ahead on and go, only to have someone say "Don't go there, girl"?

What Can I Do You For: The mating call of the used car salesman. Why don't you go ahead on and shampoo my crotch? That rocks, and it's all good.

Smart and Sassy: My theory is that if you have to describe yourself as smart and sassy, you may have self-esteem issues you need to go ahead on and worth through.