Despair at Lincoln-Mercury

I'm afraid my local Lincoln-Mercury dealer is going to have to hit the anti-depressants again this year because, once again, I'm not buying anyone I know a Lincoln Marinator or whatever that thing is. Even if I had the money I don't think I'd buy anyone a Lincoln Marinator. I think if I were in a position to hand out cars for Christmas, they'd be Mini-Coopers. Bright red, blue or green ones.

Actually, if I had the money, I'd probably give out MAZ-537 heavy trucks for Christmas. Have a look: http://www.military-today.com/trucks/maz_537.htm I could see my friend Barbara in one of these, I think.

I hate the music the Lincoln people use on their "spend a bazillion bucks at Christmas" commercials, by the way. It's swingy poppy Christmas music, the kind of thing that Mr. I'm Going To Be CEO In Five Years rocks out to when nobody's watching. Well, at least it isn't the Black-Eyed Peas...