I used to think string theory was kind of confusing, what with its Calabi-Yau manifolds and 10-to-the-bazillionth tweakable parameters and left-hand and right-hand winding. I used to think biology was confusing, what with its adenosine triphosphate and Krebs Cycle and base pairs.
But holy cow, nothing, I mean nothing, compares to the struggle for Roman succession roundabouts 306 AD, a Charleton Heston-style madhouse involving (as near as I can tell) Diocletian, Maximian, Maxentius, Constantius, Severus, Galerius, Constantine, Maximinius... Oh hell, why not, let's have Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore put in appearances, shall we? It can't get much worse. At one point I'm pretty sure five men believed they were emperor, and I couldn't say that any of their claims were any more right (or any more wrong) than anyone else's.
I've tried attacking this problem in various ways. I tried reading about it in Michael Grant's biography of Constantine, which failed because Michael Grant readily confuses me. I tried again in Michael Grant's collection of emperor biographies, and failed. I tried various on-line resources. I tried the Essential Histories. I tried a lecture I have on videotape. It still doesn't make any sense. It's the most confusing and in many ways frustrating piece of history I've ever blundered into, and maybe the most confusing thing ever.
What really cheeses me is that out of all this madness comes a fairly simple reality - Constantine the Great - but I can't trace the historical thread. Meps!
It's a madhouse! A madhouse!
But the carpet looks a lot better. I spent most of my carpet-cleaning time thinking about this Roman matter, which is how it came to be on my blog. I didn't figure out anything about Rome, but the floor looks ever so much better.
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