I'm not going to claim that this is the biggest zucchini ever grown. I'm sure there are much larger zucchini out there in the world somewhere, straining at their bonds and just dying to wreak havoc on some unsuspecting Midwestern burg - Sheboyban, perhaps, in honor of the old SPI game.
But when your zucchini is bigger than your dog, and bigger than already generous size-14 sneaker, it's probably a sign that either you're not checking your garden often enough, or that your soil is productive beyond the wildest fantasies of Tuscan farmers.
It would be funnier is this was the only giant zucchini we have, but it's not. We gave one to my mom a few days ago that was so large it made her emit an inarticulate cry of horror, the same sort of noise most people would make if a house guest suddenly produced a Gila Monster from a bag and held it out.
This zucchini crisis has reached the point that zucchini have become our primary foodstuff in the form of zucchini casserole. The general procedure is to take a big Pyrex dish and line the bottom with Stovetop Stuffing or some other breadlike stuffing material, then atop that place a layer of sliced and slightly steamed (cooked, not angry) zucchini. Then over the whole works goes a mixture of cream of chicken soup and sour cream, and then cheese on the top. Bake and enjoy.
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